So Friday was actually a pretty good day, I had a good meeting with my professor and put in a grant application, but then Justine comes into my office and drops all sorts of ominous hints. She wouldn't tell me what the problem was only that 'I had a right to know' and that Phil was going to talk to me. Phil had spent all afternoon in the meeting where they were shortlisting for the Level B post I've applied for. Justine can be really inconsiderate sometimes.
Then tonight my mother called from England and I had to break her heart. She had decided that she was coming for three months when the baby is born and that I'd have to go back to work and she'd stay home and look after him whilst I worked. Um, no. I wouldn't have decided to have this baby if I couldn't look after him myself. I'm going to cash in a lump of my house equity and stay at home and breastfeed my baby for a year. More importantly I don't have a spare room for her to stay in and I don't imagine Matt would welcome my mother crashing on the sofa for weeks when I also have a new baby in the house. She was obviously really upset, and I feel horrid. She knows how I feel about my family and my friends, she knows why I'm in Australia and she knows the lifestyle I lead and yet she seems to think that having a baby will make me into somebody else entirely. I think she was planning on spending Christmas here, but I spend Christmas with the other gay orphans and just because I have a straight baby doesn't change that. Things are the way they are for reasons that go back before I was even born and that's why I came to Australia, to be able to bring my children up without them being effected by the rest of my crazy relatives.
And my aunt, Ruby, died today. She was nearly 90 and had pancreatic cancer. She was a grump woman who terrified me my whole childhood, and she was very old, but it's sad all the same.
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