Mood swings

Apparently the hormone levels experienced during pregnancy are hundreds of times higher than the contraceptive pill, which explains a lot. Take yesterday, for example. It's the long weekend, so I've been generally lazing around with a murder mystery, [The Broken Shore by Peter Temple - very vivid], and having a few too many trips to the local cafes for afternoon tea. I'm still feeling really good, so good in fact that when I spent an entire day without morning sickness I then spent the entire evening worrying that my pregnancy symptoms had disappeared too soon and I was about to miscarry. Today my breakfast out was ruined by waves and waves of blueberry muffin related nausea. And I'm happy about that. I feel so pregnant I allowed myself a hour of making baby name lists. I really hope it's a boy, [Patrick, Eamon, Finn, Declan, so many nice Irish names], girl names are all hideous, [Siobhan, Orlaith, Niamh, Grainne...shudder]. Family names don't help, my paternal grandmother was Matilda, [um, no], and my maternal grandmother, and aunt, who were both variations of Ellen, committed suicide. And my short surname is just difficult.

One of my closest friends is off on honeymoon this week, which is great because it means she will start TTC when she gets back. It would be so lovely if she were just a few months behind me; I could pass on all my maternity gear and tiny baby clothes and her husband could be a much needed heterosexual male influence for my baby. He's a super achieving karate chopping biochemist and I already have him booked into taking my kid with his kid to karate, [Fridays nights to myself - yay]. Then there's Auskick, so two hours on a Saturday to myself, [hmm, or do I have to cheer?]. Shame I'm not Italian or there could be language school too. Maybe just being European would be enough? Or I could convert and sent him to the temple to learn Hebrew. OK, so this sounds harsh, but I know single mums; they have no life. They definitely have no sex life, which is why they are all so universally narky and bitch about their ex's new girlfriends so much - lack of sex. And happy mums make for happy kids. Seeing as it's the nice husband's job to make the wife happy, and I skipped that, I'll just have to orchestrate an alternative.

My hairdresser, such a nice boy, was telling me that he was an accident. His mum had a one night stand and never saw the bloke again but decided to keep Daniel. His fatherlessness doesn't seem to have affected him, [well, he's a screamingly camp hairdresser, but I'm not sure that's related], and his opinion was that it was great that I decided to keep the baby. Which was nice, as I'm getting a few comments about how sad it is that my baby won't have a father and how hard it will be. My general take on it is that it isn't the baby who'll miss out, he'll be surrounded by people who love him and I'm going to make sure he has a fantastically happy childhood. I'll be a bit sad to have no partner to share it with, but I'll have this amazing experience, this amazing new person to get to know and I know family life will make me happy in ways I can't even imagine. I genuinely believe raising children should be a group enterprise, so it would be good for the baby to have family in Australia and it's a shame they will miss out. I sometimes mull over going home to be nearer my family for the baby's sake, but then I remember why I'm in Australia! So my baby's family will be an assortment of gay men, some nurses and midwives, an ex-girlfriend of mine and her husband and my crazy mother via the internet. It'll be interesting.