The Small Island of No

I have been exhiled to the small Island of No. No tea, no coffee, no sushi, no smoked salmon, no hollandaise, no soft-boiled eggs, no pre-packed salad, no deli olives, no brie, no soft-serve ice cream, no deep sea fish, no mussels, no wine, no massage oil, no cycling, no worrying, no highlights and, apparently, no sex either because the only one I want has run for the hills and anyone else would be unseemly. Although my mother informs me that pregnant women on Neighbours still date I suspect it's not the Australian norm. I reckon pregnant women don't date and, most likely, breast-feeding women don't date either. Write me off til 2010 and rename me Rachel.